Kamis, 20 Agustus 2009

I'll Take "Vast Left-Wing Conspiracies" for $1,000, Alex.

Local Republican Chairman Jared Woodfill came to the screeching defense of the GOP's Golden Girl Pat Lykos today with a screaming attack on the practical joker who created a fake Twitter account last week on behalf of the District Attorney.

Now, for those of you who missed the short-lived practical joke, somebody (and no, it wasn't me, but I do think it was hysterical) created a profile purporting to be Pat Lykos and started sending out Twitter "status updates" on her behalf. The status updates were clearly satirical and literally had me doubled over with laughter. Some of the highlights from "Pat" included:

-"Grabbing a smoke before going back to building the best f*cking DA's Office in the USA."

-"Going to send Hannah (Chow) to make the rounds and make sure everybody is working hard. These bastards will slack off if you let them."

And my personal favorite (in response to this post):
-"What's the matter, asshole, you don't like dogs?"

Clearly whoever was the author of the fake account had a great sense of sarcasm and humor. I even have to admit when I saw that "Pat Lykos" was following my account on Twitter, I kind of freaked out. The whole site was Political Satire at its best, in my opinion. After reading the first post, no reasonable mind would have ever believed it was really Patsy doing the posting.

Apparently Chairman Woodfill disagreed. And he had alot to say about it. Most of his response was pretty damn stupid, too.

First of all, he blamed the "vile" tweets on "most assuredly, the liberal elite".

Holy Joseph McCarthy, Batman!

Jared, seriously, I doubt it was the "wild eyed left", as you call them. It was most likely a former prosecutor who is dismayed at the absolute hatchet job that your "standard bearer for DA" has done on the Office that they used to love. Odds are that former prosecutor is probably fairly conservative in most things, but I could be wrong about that.

Next, Woodfill goes on to describe the "rock solid" Pat Lykos as a "Republican Institution". Lykos may be rock headed, but I'm having a hard time seeing her as "rock solid", man. Her erratic behavior and her wild policy swings between denying probation for illegals, yet making mandatory Pre-Trial Diversions for DWIs don't exactly paint a picture of stability. If "rock solid" "standard bearer" Pat Lykos is your role model, it is no wonder that the Harris County Republican Party took such a kick in crotch during the November elections.

Let's face facts, Mr. Chairman. The only reason that Pat Lykos won the election in November was because her opponent, Clarence Bradford, carried more baggage with him than Imelda Marcos on a Roman Holiday. She didn't win the election as much as Bradford and his past scandals lost it. If you are going to be holding onto her as a reason for the GOP to rest on their "laurels", you may be in for another rude awakening in November 2010.

Oh, and by the way, all of those phenomenal "accomplishments" you list Patsy as having accomplished are things that were in play well before she and the Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight came to town.

The reality of the Lykos Administration is that it has reinforced every negative stereotype that the Republican Party has ever had to defend itself against: Good Old Boy Networks, Cronyism, Enemies of Diversity, and Arrogance.

You think Lykos is helping your Party? Seriously?

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